broken and blessed

Take, Bless, Break, Give. That is the order of the Eucharist. Each week when we pray around the table we pray through the taking, blessing, breaking, and giving of Christ’s body. We watch as ordinary bread is transformed into our sacramental feast. This week, more than usual, I am cognizant of my own nature as a human being who is simultaneously blessed and broken. Living in that dissonance is an invitation into the heart of God and I feel drawn into the discord. My prayers are focused on figuring out how to take my broken, blessed self, shake the dust from my shoes, and walk forward in faithful humility to give what I can and absorb what I need. I am reminded that Christ walked this road before and because of that miraculous fact there really isn’t anything I can feel or experience that will surprise God. Pain, joy, hope, despair, love – all are experiences that God understands deeply and can walk through with each of us. So for today, I choose to fully expose both my brokenness and my blessedness. Today I choose to shine, not in spite of my brokenness, but rather because of the fractures in the crystal of my heart. Those fractures create the rainbows. In the words of Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”